The horse is dirty and really far away

Last night I went out on a date with someone I met a few months ago. I met him through an acquaintance that I haven’t seen or spoken to in years, but she remembered me and made the intro. Right off the bat I knew this would be a long shot – he’s really not my type (I’m not quite sure what my type is, but I knew it wasn’t him) – but I figured, “give it a shot, you never know!” So we chatted a while and I excused myself and went back to my party. The next day I got a Facebook add and we exchanged the “nice to meet you” messages.

And that was it. Until this Saturday, 4 months later.


He hits me up on Facebook again. He asked if I was in town – to which I answered yes – and we made plans to meet up! Again, I still felt that this was all wrong, but seeing as I’m experiencing the worst case of unrequited love EVER (see previous post – Sunday Confessional), and needed a distraction, this couldn’t have come at a better time.


This guy is a drama professor at one of the universities here and also teaches workshops at the RFC in the evenings. He specializes in shadow theater which involves puppets behind a screen to create, well, shadows. He’s extremely passionate about what he does and just lights up when he talks about it. Which is great. But, puppets? Really?

I’m an asshole, I know – so let’s get this out of the way early. There will be lots of judgement; it’s for your entertainment, so just enjoy it.

Moving on. He smokes like a chimney – which I never thought would be a turn off, but BOY oh boy. His cigarette was in my face the entire night and he smelled like an ashtray. And his teeth showed the scars of years and years of nicotine and tar. Not cute.

We had a lot to talk about, seeing as this was pretty much the first time we speak, so going through the “what do you do’s?” and “what interests do you have?” supplied ample conversation material. It went quite well and while we don’t share many interests, my English Lit degree and his Theatre degree did give some space for common ground. This was going better than I had expected.


Until he decided to play a little “fun” game.

“No judgements,” he says, “I promise – this is just for kicks”. And proceeded to ask me questions that are supposed to give insight to my personality.


And so I played.

He told me that there’s a room and asked me to “furnish” it. To which I described a large bed on one end of the room, with a comfortable seating area on the other and floor to ceiling windows.

He “hmmed”. He’s a “hmmer” apparently.

Then he told me there was a cube in the room and asked me to describe it. “The cube is an ottoman type cushion that can be used as a table or extra seating.”

“There’s a ladder – where is it in relation to the cube?”

“It’s got nothing to do with the cube – it’s on the side of the room somewhere.”


More “hmm’s”. So much for no judgement!

Then he said there was a storm outside and asked me to describe my feelings towards said storm. I replied that I was less than amused and that the storm needed to go away. Finally, he explained that there was a horse that fits into this equation, and for me to describe to him where this horse is. Logically, there’s no need for an animal of this size to be in my room, so I explained that the horse was “dirty, and outside somewhere far away, but I can see it from my window.”


This answer received the loudest and longest “hmmm” of all.


As it turns out, I have a wild and rather huge appetite for sex (how appropriate) since the first thing I furnished the room with was a large bed. I am ambiguous about my career goals (the cube having more than one use) and have no idea how to realise them (ladder is far from the cube). I don’t like problems/challenges (the storm) but I am aware of them (huge windows). And when it comes to relationships (the horse) – well, there’s your answer.


The date ended shortly afterwards and it’s safe to say there won’t be a second date. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy myself. It was entertaining and definitely different from my usual outings. He was very polite and sweet, but sometimes you just can’t help how you feel.


5 thoughts on “The horse is dirty and really far away

  1. lol – you do know how to pick them, don´t you ;-) I´ve never heard of anything as rediculous than this “fun” game but then again, I dread to think what he would have made of my answers :-)

    • Hahaha seeeeeeriously! The last date I went on (ages and ages ago) wasn’t any more or less successful, but at least there was no personality test given. I figure, those answers, coupled with my blog posts may be enough “data” for a therapist to analyze! Should be good fun :)

      • hmm I think any theraphist looking at my blog would have me admitted in a flash but that´s the beauty of it – they can not get hold of me ;-)

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